Hey there blokémon! - This time on Haiku Poké Force, we take a look at New Pokémon that are also Classic Pokémon that you never noticed before!
"Impossible!" I hear you cry, as you spit supermarket-brand cheesy puffs out of your fat, ulcerous mouth.
"I have committed the stats, evolutions and movesets of every Pokémon to memory, from Bulbasaur to Genesect. I ought to get of this couch, and punch you in the Pikadick for your lies."
Have no fear Butterball, you won't have to stand up today! Every word is true.
Prepare yourself gentlepokémen, for... yet another list of Pokémon:
HOORAY! LISTS! AUTISM!
 | 10. Anukak CLASSIFICATION: Carmen Miranda Peanut Pokémon DESCRIPTION: It lives in dirty estate pubs. Despairing of its surroundings, this extremely gay Pokémon fashions a turban out of its discarded shell. |
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| Anukak |
 | 9. Etynamo CLASSIFICATION: Blue Dye Otaku Pokémon DESCRIPTION: It wears its spurious geek-cred hair with pride. Always more poseur than "true" otaku, this Pokémon will marry an fat, ugly girl who plays Magic: The Gathering. |
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| Etynamo |
 | 8. Ocenip CLASSIFICATION: Frozen Chips Pokémon DESCRIPTION: It lives in your freezer. You'd forgotten about those oven chips you bought seven months ago, hadn't you? Ocenip hasn't forgotten. It wants its seven months back. And your soul. |
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| Ocenip |
 | 7. Todees CLASSIFICATION: Plunger Turd Pokémon DESCRIPTION: Living excrement, this Pokémon loves playing with children. Lumpy with undigested corn, it is stuck inside the head of a rubber plunger, which it uses to bounce from playground to playground. |
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| Todees |
 | 6. Llugniw CLASSIFICATION: Big Arms Welsh Ghost Pokémon DESCRIPTION: With its wide embrace, it may entrap whole families before "the process" begins. Withered, faceless husks are all that is left behind. This Pokémon wears a mysterious hat. |
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| Llugniw |
 | 5. Hsimoorhs CLASSIFICATION: Angry Onion Pokémon DESCRIPTION: It lives in gardens, groceries and the fertile bodies of your dead grandparents. Always grumpy, this Pokémon reads the Daily Mail aloud to its wife, and works in a factory. |
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| Hsimoorhs |
 | 4. Hcaobrab CLASSIFICATION: Your Guess Is As Good As Mine Pokémon DESCRIPTION: Er. Is it, like, some sort of magic fish sausage or something? This Pokémon was born at the end of time, and ages backwards. It will die as it, and all its brothers, coalesce into an infinitely small, infinitely massive point. |
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| Hcaobrab |
 | 3. Teppuhs CLASSIFICATION: Sock Puppet Bird Pokémon DESCRIPTION: This Pokémon loves to hide among the bric-a-brac of antiques shops. It uses its sharp beak to inject paralysing venom into the groins of unwary bargain-hunters. |
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| Teppuhs |
 | 2. Mudleb CLASSIFICATION: Ion Cannon Pokemon DESCRIPTION: It lives in cold, snowy regions and dreams of a time when it may disable Imperial-Class Pokémon at a glance. Doomed to eternally wander the wastes, this Pokémon can only stare into the night sky, and hope. |
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| Mudleb |
 | 1. Bronzor CLASSIFICATION: Rotational Symmetry Pokémon DESCRIPTION: That's the joke. This is a real Pokémon. |
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| Bronzor |
Gotta catch 'em all, etc.
